V R D 1 WHO THINK....

HOW TO GET A DASSI:ESPECIALLY 4 1ST YR PPL

2006-10-20T12:12:00.000+04:00

Exams starting from Monday… It might be surprising for many as to how could I get time to write a post. Ummm… I had to, just for a social cause, to help those ‘veer jawan’ who are fighting to earn a 10 CGPA. Just some laws and theories that could change your status from a seven point someone to a ‘dassi’.
Ten Simple laws, enlisted in increasing order of their importance.
10. Study in an optimized manner… That’s what you already do, the difference lies in what you study. Study only what the teacher speaks in the class.
9. Pretend that you are intelligent. Theres are two ways to do it…
i) Be the most “beeba bacha” in the class….
ii) Sit with an intelligent lad. Be the most mischievous guy in the class. The teacher is sure to ask you the question. Before that sms your friend sitting in other corner to create chaos when the question is asked. You have the time to consult for the answer when the teacher’s attention is towards the chaos.
8. “The Law of Orkutting”. If u have a free internet connection or a broadband, keep yourself logged in 24*7. Keep some depressing orkut name added on with a depressing pic. This provides two benefits, one that , it makes people feel that you are not studying. Second, you are sure to get many best wishes for the exams. YOU NEED THEM BADLY!!!
7. Every senior is your helper. Keep a separate telephone directory for them.
6. "The BEE Theory”.. just like an irritating bee, keep wandering in and out of teachers’ room. He might divulge an important question, and also give some Photostat notes with important lines marked.
5. Target the Library Staff… It is a known fact that the books generally aren’t reissued. Believe me they are. Just find an uncle/aunty in the library.
4. The “Law of Chamchagiri”… It’s one of the most important laws.. remember. The teacher is your ‘ann-data’, the one to give you marks. She/He is the sexiest creature on earth and is equipped with Newton’s Brain. Let the teacher know that. (Please don’t make it a habit, or u might start believing it.
3. “The Rishtedar Theory”. Make a list of All the teachers, and try to find out where can you find a rishtedari with them. Uncle, Aunty, Chacha, Chachi, Didi, Bhanji, Saas, Sasur, Dada Dadi. Kuch bhi chalega… bass get them to know that you are their ‘rishtedaar’
2. “The Half Mark Theory”.. This comes into effect when you get the checked answer sheets. When you’ve written something but you know that your answer is wrong. Teacher ko Choorhna nahi… pakde rakhna… roona peetna….. end me khushi hi milegi….
1. THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL…. Its coined by my friend Suneet. “The Vomit Theory” For every question, just vomit out what ever you’ve swallowed in its context, may it be relevant or irrelevant. Remember that those examination hours are the ones when you get a ‘golden’ chance to make theories. In short, teachers nu fuddu banaun da uhi mauka hunda hai…

STATUTORY WARNING: TESTED AN PROVED UNDER STANDARD CONDITIONS. THE RESULTS MAY VARY.
*THE WRITER IS A DASSI

P.R.A.T.I.G.Y.A.

2006-10-20T12:04:00.000+04:00

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Interactionz

2006-10-15T09:51:00.000+04:00

Hey all f u in Interactionz here is ur marksheet till now:

Names
The Order will be as follows:
Rev(20)
Rev(100)
Extempore(100)
Total(200)
%age

Rupali
0
88.5
88.5
44.25
Ashima
0
77
77
38.5
Aditya KVSS
17.5
87.5
92
179.5
89.75
4th
Ripan
0
67
67
33.5
Riapnu
18
90
55
145
72.5
Darshdeep
12
60
79
139
69.5
Shefali
13
65
78
143
71.5
Tushar
18
90
63
153
76.5
Saloni
0
83
83
41.5
Rahul
19
95
88
183
91.5
2nd
Divya
19
95
77
172
86
Devansh
15
75
71
146
73
Alisha
0
78
78
39
Aayush
0
78
78
39
Madhvi
0
63
63
31.5
A.Kohli
18
90
68
158
79
Sakshi
0
86
86
43
Abhishek
16.5
82.5
91
173.5
86.75
Riaz
16.5
82.5
92
174.5
87.25
Bharat
17
85
92
177
88.5
Tarun
18
90
88
178
89
5th
Tanya
18
90
94.5
184.5
92.25
1st
A.Tyagi
18.5
92.5
89
181.5
90.75
3rd
Avant
0
82
82
41
Prateek
14
70
67
137
68.5
Shiv
Neha
Prabmandeep

THE FINAL DESTINATION

2006-07-12T22:15:00.000+04:00

“I want to be a pilot”, “I want to be a doctor” are the answers one has been hearing since schooldays whenever the teacher used to ask about the children’s aims. Some were pretty enthusiastic, some bit inhibited whereas some doubtful, yet gave flowery answer like being the PM of the country. “I want to be an IAS officer” is what I always advocated. Being from a bureaucratic family, I probably had accepted that the immense power, the drivers and the orderlies were really important in one’s life. So, while in school at the back of my mind I had a vague idea that I would someday take up the civil services. After the 10th boards, took up non medical because that is what all the high scorers opted for. I accepted the decision and moved on, but soon realized that I was doing nothing but complying with the family and peer pressure. With no other option, accepted engineering as my profession and landed up in Thapar. The first year passed on pretty smoothly but as soon as the second year approached, it brought with it oodles of doubts in my mind as to what should I do. With everyday passing, one big question: MBA or IAS haunted me day and night. Researched industriously on the net, met many people but the problem remains unsolved. All the elder people I met, most of them strongly spoke for IAS as it epitomized power and glory for most of them. One of them, a very senior officer in the Punjab Police said “The British left India and they left it for us to rule”. Certainly, the kind of aura that uncle of mine had made me feel that IAS officers were indeed something like kings. Then I met my cousin who is an IIT-IIM grad presently working in an MNC at a very high post. Flaunting his newly bought solid Rolex, he said that they were the ones that had the monetary power and political freedom in life. To the aura condition, he argued that the armanis, guccis, mercs gave them the aura which even the babudom was deprived of. That is the time I realized that I was totally stuck in the two plush options out of which I could opt for only one. When I came across the fellow Thaparian’s views, only about a 1 in a 100 were actually thinking about the civil services while most of the people were crazy about MBA because it assured them a good salary, life and a good wife. But, no one ever bothered about the duty towards the country. Many sternly wanted to go to US so did not even give a thought to this. They say you have to become corrupt and have to be bad to survive in this country. Just when I was going to finally believe the notion, I went to see Rang De Basanti.. It took me a few days to recover from the impact the movie had on my mind. Everything suddenly changed around me for I saw how today, youth could actually does something really for Bharat. Then for some time, IAS weighed more until recently, when the newspapers were filled with the salary of the IIM grads for this year. $2,25,000 p.a. was the highest package offered. Now again, the nationalism faded away gradually and the wavering mind syndrome took over my nerves again. If one could earn bags full with MBA then why opt for IAS. “You can’t earn in IAS without the second route and the sting operations have made it really difficult” is what one of my teachers told me. I was dumbstruck at the frankness he exuded, but the point got through. That is when I inclined my interest a bit more on the MBA side But whenever I hear any tune from RDB, my mind wanders over and over that if all the youth start getting scared of the jobs like IAS, Army or other public sector jobs and take the easy route to US, who is going to change it? Koi bhi Karlega,(why should I?) is what we say but until this approach changes, I really don’t think that anything could be done. Seeing all the friends dressed up like Bhagat Singh on 23rd March, I pondered that if no one dares, then who will? Just by wearing clothes like them is not a tribute to them because those were the people who died smilingly for their duty but we seldom pay any attention to our role. After writing all this, I don’t assert that I am a nationalistic personality for I am still confused about the two options but at least I have a doubt, because I think about it and I am proud of it. Remember—“only dead fish swim with the current”. So be alive, for the country needs you.JAI HIND.